Computer Science major to spend entire weekend locked in room

Halflife and XBox push student further down the social ladder

Mr. Lemonhead, news editor



As enthusiastic as ever, Webb pauses while his computer boots for a friendly webcam photo shoot

Mt. Vernon, Ohio-With the conclusion of Friday's chapel service, junior computer science major, Garth Webb announced an intention to spend the upcoming weekend locked away in his room. Though no one really cared, Webb produced a tentative agenda for the weekend, with nerd activities ranging from LAN games of Halflife to reading back issues of Nintendo Power.

Though a plot of this style has never been attempted in the history of the school, Webb has plenty of confidence in his lack of social interaction. He even bragged of a time when he played Ultima Online for three days straight, boldly forgetting to take the several medications that keep him alive. Webb was hospitalized, but was miraculously saved by the coupling effects of medicine and a brand new Gateway laptop.

Though Webb's plan treads in some of the "less friendly" waters of the nerd world, he is surprisingly well supported to the fullest extent for one in his social position. "Garth is a fighter, you should see his wicked gun play in Halo, I have faith in him," commented one of Webb's few nerd comrades, whose name is irrelevant.

Said another equally unimportant nerd, "(Webb) is such an inspiration to us all, his knowledge of useless Star Trek facts is overwhelming. That, in addition to his superior gaming ability, makes (Webb) my only candidate for attempting such a feat."

But what does the other 99% of the student body think of this daring attempt? When asked about the feat, sophomore Cathy Andrews simply replied, "What?" Though most nerds would claim this an unfair judgement, it was one shared by many students. Some disgruntled students even stooped to the use of profanity and cursed the Lemon for wasting their time with issues of the nerd sub-species.