Welcome to Bahamut's Corner, home of the raging cajun columnist. As a means of getting on the reader's level, Comrade Bahamut has very graciously volunteered to share his opinion with not only you, but also with us here at the Lemon. While we may not care, you sure may.

Bahamut's Top Tens
Top Ten Most Oversung Chapel Songs

10. That one with Jesus in it

9. "Holy, Holy, Holy" (x 65)

8. That one that the wanna-be-opera-star piano player made up

7. Those ones with banjo accompanyment that even God hates

6. That one I always fall asleep to

5. The one that the Chimpanzee at the Cincinnati Zoo wrote

4. "Yeah I really, really do love Jesus seriously I do"

3. "I’m alive I’m alive I’m alive" (x 56478)

2. "Please Christ let us sit down now"

1. There are only 9 songs sung in Chapel


Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Security Guards

10. Drive in the grass (they have to see you)

9. Egg the Security Booth or the blazers (they must be inside)

8. Take a jackhammer and remove the speed bumps

7. Rearrange letters on Oakwood Hall to read "O Vodka Hall"

6. Put stick in bike tire spokes as they ride by.

5. Go to Oakwood lobby dial 4000 ask for Kraven Moorehed, I.P. Freely, Seymore Butts etc.

4. Potato in tailpipe, Sugar in gas tank, knife in tire, you get the picture.

3. Refuse to give ID or Name. If they persist, call the real cops and say you felt threatened

2. Hit them (with a water balloon I mean of course)

1. Ask them to actually DO SOMETHING


Top Ten Coolest things about MVNC

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Recent Poll Proves Ryan Schmitz the Most Popular RD in MVNC History
The results of a recent campus poll indicate that Ryan Schmitz is the most popular RD ever by obtaining 12% of the vote. An astounding 76% simply voted no for Neilson. Schmitz was followed closely by Hitler at 4% who ranks slightly higher than Kendra Lambert. One student when asked why he ranked Hitler above Lambert replied “Hitler had a cooler Mustache.“ Also Ballinger obtained a negative 5% vote, probably for either his “fine everyone on earth” policy or for never coming out of his house. The graph pretty much speaks for itself on who is liked who is hated and who we are glad is gone.

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