Gay Awareness Conference proves beneficial for some MVNC students
Students given opportunity to explore alternative lifestyle

Mr. Lemonhead, news editor

Mount Vernon, Ohio-Due to the recent popularity of phrases such as "That’s gay!" or "Don’t be so gay!" on the MVNC campus, the psychology department provided students with the option to attend a conference on gay awareness. At the conference, students were able to view video footage of "real-life homosexuals", as to give them a better understanding of what being gay is all about. Following the video, students were also allowed to question professors on some of the subject's gray areas.

Though the conference was not overly populated, the psychology department felt that they efficiently reached students and showed them what they really needed to know about gays. However, two students in particular may not have gotten the message so clear. For junior Brad Hart and sophomore Josh Blanchard, the conference was not only a chance to be informed, but also allowed them to, shall we say, "discover each other."

That's right! During the conference, both Hart and Blanchard realized the appeal that the other seemed to suddenly have. Hart, who described Blanchard as "a beautiful man", praises the psychology department for allowing the conference to take place. Blanchard also went on the record as saying, "If not for that conference on gay awareness, I never would have had it in me to approach Bradley."


Hart and Blanchard, frolicking in the face of animosity

When interviewed about the newest Naz couple---who can be seen running around campus holding hands, skipping and picking flowers together---many administrators deemed the couple "inappropriate" and "disgusting". Said one administrator (who asks to remain anonymous), "If these young men do not find it necessary to separate, I'm afraid I might find it necessary to expel both of them from this school."

In addition, the psychology department head released a statement apologizing to the school and the families of both Hart and Blanchard. The statement, which was given earlier today, stated simply this:

"It has come to our attention that in response to our attempt to educate, some students have taken it upon themselves to practice sinful acts. This was not our intention, nor do we condone such blasphemous activities. We simply saw it necessary to educate students on the subject, not turn them into homosexuals. Therefore, we apologize not only to the school, but the families of both young men as well as the boys themselves."

Upon hearing both the released statement and the responses from administrators, both Hart and Blanchard simply remarked, "That's gay!"